grateful - no. 30

grateful | trials

there. i said it. and {most of the time} i believe it. i truly do believe our trials make us stronger. better. more capable. more caring. more aware. they help us grow into the people we have the potential to become. 

and at the same time, they suck.

they're hard. they make us want to throw in the towel. curl into the fetal position. scream. yell. pull out our hair. kick a hole in the wall. at least they make me want to do all those things.

i put a picture of me and leah on here because, well, she's my trial. i love her dearly, but she is the hardest thing i have ever been faced with in all my 29 years. and it scares me because, unlike other trials, i don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. i know this particular trial will continue to pull and stretch and reshape me for years and years and years. just when i think i've come to terms with her {and my} future, something happens that makes me mourn the loss of her previous abilities all over again. most nights i fall asleep on a wet pillow. most mornings i wake up and ask ryan if it was all a dream. i feel a bazillion emotions all at one time - and all of them so completely that i feel like i could burst. 

my morning and evening prayers are full of questions and pleas for help and strength to get through just one. more. day. and they are full of gratitude. gratitude for this sweet little girl who has graced me with her presence. who wipes her slobbery fingers and face all over me each day. whose eyes light up when i've finally guessed right. who snuggles into my arms twice daily as she drifts off to sleep. who screams and giggles in the same second. who moves with such life in her. who lives with such light. 

yes, i am grateful for trials.

grateful - no. 29

grateful | technology - of a different sort

 technology amazes me. if it were up to me, we probably still wouldn't have invented the wheel. the things we can do with the click of a button are simply amazing. but this past year, i've become more and more grateful for technology i never knew existed. for technology i never knew needed to exist. for technology to give leah a choice. to give her a voice. to help her {and me} on a daily basis. to link her up to the computer and let her "turn" the pages of a book or tell her teacher what we did this weekend or choose what she wants to each for lunch. 

we only have the basics and i'm hoping to only go up from here. to watch her mind grow and develop with the aid of technology. to hear her tell jokes and answer questions and speak and create all with the help of a computer. so very grateful.

grateful - no. 28

grateful | my savior

i'm grateful for my savior, Jesus Christ. My Lord. My Redeemer. the only One who truly knows and understands how i'm feeling, what i've been through, how i hurt. the perfect example. One who can lift and help and heal. who listens whenever i choose to speak. whose arms are stretched out still. i am eternally grateful. 

grateful - no. 27

grateful | rain

i love the sound. i love the sight. i love the smell. i even love the touch of rain in all its wet goodness. my semi-curly/semi-straight hair doesn't always like the rain, but i like it. i love rainbows and the smell of wet cement. i love green leaves and flowing streams. i love puddles and filled-to-the-brim gutters. and i love little girls in rain boots and galoshes - simply because of the rain.

f for fantastic

turkey day was:

Fantastic. 

Five-k 

   

{which rachel rocked} 

First-ever solo turkey

Frigid

{as much as CA can get} 

Family

Friends

Foliage

Filling

Fun

{don't judge. the 's' was A.W.O.L.}

grateful - no. 26

grateful | shmoj

this is my mom. we call her shmoj. it's a long story, but she likes the name and it stuck. i kinda like her. i still call her to share exciting news or ask a question or get reassurance or to whine or complain. and every time she just listens. she doesn't judge. but she's honest with me. i'm grateful for shmoj.

grateful - no. 25

grateful | to have

i rarely need anything. at least nothing money can buy. i'm just fine. i live in a warm home {despite the single-paned windows}. i have plenty of food to eat {my love handles are proof}. i have a wonderful family. fantastic friends. plenty of clothes {and to spare}. technology at my fingertips. transportation just outside my door. and so many other things its ridiculous. it's true - there are lots of things i want. lots of things i'd like. but i don't need them. i have what i need. and for that, i am grateful.

boutique success!

the boutique was a success! 

and lots of fun! 

thanks to all who came. 

i do have some leftovers if anyone is interested. 

i've listed the prices below. 

 to order:

just leave a comment or send me an email (marejl at gmail dot com) and i'll contact you. thanks!

small ruffled roses (12mm)

$6 pair

or 2/$10

purple (3 pr), lime green, turquoise, baby blue (2 pr), cream

two-toned roses (12mm)

$6 pair

or 2/$10

mauve, turquoise, pink, cream, purple, rose, yellow

(more than one pair of all of these)

medium chrysanthemums (15mm)

$8 pair

or 2/$15

mauve, butter yellow, grass green, white, paprika red, turquoise

(i have more than one pair of all of these)

medium round mums (15mm)

$8 pair

or 2/$15

gray, black, turquoise, grass green, purple, lime green, shiny black, off white, sun yellow

(only one pair left of each, except the shiny black)

large chrysanthemums (22mm)

$10 pair

grapefruit pink, tangerine, red, green

(i only have these six pair left)

hair pins

$6/set of two

or 4/$10

(shiny black, two-toned roses, round gray mums, grass green med chrysanthemum, butter yellow medium chrysanthemum, small purple roses)

canvas animal art

each canvas is unique and is ready to hang.

11x14 - $30

green lion

 pink owl

 purple bird

 yellow monkey

 8x10 - $20

green lion (2)

 green monkey (2)

 pink bird

 purple owl

 yellow monkey (2)

if you need them shipped, add $1.00 for the first item 

and $0.25 for each additional item for the earrings and hair pins. 

{if you  need the canvas wall art shipped, 

we'll chat to figure out how much it will cost. they're not heavy.}

thanks!

grateful - no. 24

grateful | consistency

after a year of changes going in the wrong direction, i'm so grateful for things that stay the same. i'm grateful for a silly little girl who stayed silly, despite her struggles. who is hanging on with all her might to the skills and abilities that she had as an infant, that were robbed from her as a toddler. as we played in the mirror the other day, it reminded me of this first picture when she was 5.5 months old. she could mimic our facial expressions and it blew my mind. at 3.5 years, she has to work much harder to make her body work, but she did it. and it again blew my mind. we giggled in the mirror for about an hour. i'm thankful for consistency.

grateful - no. 23

grateful | home

i'm grateful for home. i'm grateful for a home. walls, a ceiling and a floor {and now, none of them are shared!!}. for the decor that goes in it to make it ours. the sights. the sounds. the smells. and for the people who live there who are mine all mine. i'm grateful for home.

grateful - no. 22

grateful | eternity

we've got a long way to go. but i'm glad we're in it together.

grateful - no. 21

grateful | family time

our lives are busy, so it doesn't happen as often as i'd like, but i'm grateful for family time. we had our first official family movie night on friday. complete with popcorn, drinks and toy story 3. leah sat still way beyond her bedtime. we'll be doing this again.

grateful - no. 20

grateful | running

so grateful for running. i've said it before. i'll say it again, i'm sure. it makes me happy. i'm not fast. i'm not "good." in fact, i look horrible while i'm doing it. but it makes me happy and it keeps me healthy. and for that, i am grateful.

p.s. love having new shoes! aren't they shiny!?

grateful - no. 19

grateful | my man

i've jumped up on my soapbox and gushed about my ryan on more than one occasion. ditto to all that was said. no matter how mean, ornery, tired, messy or ugly i am, he doesn't care. and he's never as mean or ornery as i am, though he's often more tired. he's the first to ask forgiveness. the first to apologize. the first to come home from a long day and help out at home. the first to play with leah when his energy is exhausted. the first to tell me how beautiful i am - even when i'm wearing pajamas and my hair and face are train wrecks. and i get to go on a date with him tonight. hip hip!

grateful - no. 18

grateful | music on demand

love that pandora. especially during the holidays. so many songs at the tip of my fingers. and all for free! leah and i spend many a day listening, dancing and singing.

grateful - no. 17

grateful | siblings

i have some great ones. we're oh-so-different. but i love them all so much. none of them live nearby. the closest is six hours away. so i'm grateful for smart phones and email and skype and all sorts of other ways we can keep up on each others' lives. 

i love scott for growing up before any child should - because he had to. for brushing it off his shoulders when we told him he couldn't play because he was too big or whatever our excuses were {although i don't feel too bad because he never let us have turns on mario bros.}. he's not a man of many words, but his words are kind and real. he's father to two of the cutest kids on this planet and his sweet wife is one of the most thoughtful people i know. when she heard about leah she wept. and that meant a lot. yup. i'm grateful for scott. 

i love dan for being dan. the family clown. he ruined every last family picture with his strained grins and tippy toes. he was way too cool for me in high school, but i was lucky enough on a few occasions to get the head nod. hey, it was acknowledgment. he used to re-gift his gifts for our birthdays. i got plenty of garfield comic books each year. he always said he had to marry a girl with a really weird last name to make it seem like kinnersley was an upgrade. he did it - he found a gruetzmacher. he just became a dad and his darling little son is seriously a clone of him. good thing he was a cute kid. grateful for that dan too. 

i love kelli. i really do. even though she's taller than me and skinner than me and has beautiful, BIG, brown eyes. i used to wish kelli was a boy. her name would have been brian, so that's what i called her. kelli will claim that i tried to kill her on more than one occasion {leaving the gate to the stairs open so she would take a tumble in her walker, nearly poking her eyes out with scissors, tempting her to climb out of her crib only for her to fall and get stitches on her lower lip, and more...}. i promise i didn't. but she DID get me in trouble for all of her mischief. she DID color on all my room decor and stuffed animals with sharpy pens and highlighters. but she also cheered me up when i was sick. and wrote me random notes telling me how cool i was. she still does that. we used to have matching clothes and i hated it. now we have matching clothes and i love it. and, believe it or not, little sisters grow up. they get married to great guys and have adorable kids. yup, plural. she passed me up. grateful for that kelli. 

and i'm grateful for their significant others to boot.

...and their little ones.